How The Holy Bible Makes Fun Of God!

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GOD IS GOING FOR A STROLL

[Genesis 3:8] “And They Heard The Voice Of The Lord God Walking In The Garden In The Cool Of The Day, And Adam And His Wife Hid Themselves From The Presence Of The Lord God Amongst The Trees Of The Garden.”

GOD CAN NOT FIND ADAM

[Genesis 3:9-10] “And The Lord God Called Unto Adam, And Said Unto Him, Where Are You? And He Said, I Heard Your Voice In The Garden, And I Was Afraid, Because I Was Naked; And I Hid Myself.”(From God?)

GOD IS TIRED AND NEEDS TO BE REFRESHED

[Exodus 31:17] “It Is A Sign Between Me And The Children Of Israel For Ever: For In Six Days The Lord Made Heaven And Earth, And On The Seventh Day He Rested, And Was Refreshed.”

GOD IS SLEEPING

[Psalms 44:23] “Awake, Why Sleepiest Thou, O Lord? Arise, Cast Us Not Off For Ever.”

GOD ACTS LIKE A DRUNKARD

[Psalms 78:65] “Then The Lord Awaked As One Out Of Sleep, And Like A Mighty Man That Shouted By Reason Of Wine.”

JACOB WRESTLES WITH GOD AND JACOB WINS

[Genesis 32:24-30] “And Jacob Was Left Alone; And There Wrestled A Man With Him Until The Breaking Of The Day. And When He Saw That He Prevailed Not Against Him, He Touched The Hollow Of His Thigh; And The Hollow Of Jacob’s Thigh Was Out Of Joint, As He Wrestled With Him. And He Said, Let Me Go, For The Day Breaketh. And He Said, I Will Not Let Thee Go, Except Thou Bless Me. And He Said Unto Him, What Is Thy Name? And He Said, Jacob. And He Said, Thy Name Shall Be Called No More Jacob, But Israel: For As A Prince Hast Thou Power With God And With Men, And Hast Prevailed. And Jacob Asked Him, And Said, Tell Me, I Pray Thee, Thy Name. And He Said, Wherefore Is It That Thou Dost Ask After My Name? And He Blessed Him There. And Jacob Called The Name Of The Place Peniel: For I Have Seen God Face To Face, And My Life Is Preserved.”

GOD REGRETS HIS ACTIONS

[Genesis 6:6] “And It Repented The Lord That He Had Made Man On The Earth, And It Grieved Him At His Heart.”

GOD SHAVES WITH HIRED RAZOR

[Isaiah 7:20] “In The Same Day Shall The Lord Shave With A Razor That Is Hired, Namely, By Them Beyond The River By The King Of Assyria, The Head, And The Hair Of The Feet: And It Shall Also Consume The Beard.”

GOD REBUKES HIMSELF

[Jeremiah 10:19] “Woe To Me Because Of My Injury! My Wound Is Incurable! Yet I Said To Myself, “This Is My Sickness, And I Must Endure It.”

GOD IS A DRAGON

[2 Samuel 22:9] “Smoke Rose From His Nostrils; Consuming Fire Came From His Mouth, Burning Coals Blazed Out Of It. He (God) Parted The Heavens And Came Down; Dark Clouds Were Under His Feet.”

GOD IS FOOL AND WEAK

[1 Corinthians 1:25] “For The Foolishness Of God Is Wiser Than Man’s Wisdom, And The Weakness Of God Is Stronger Than Man’s Strength.”

GOD BEGOT A SON

[John 3:16] “For God So Loved The World, That He Gave His Only Begotten Son, That Whosoever Believeth In Him Should Not Perish, But Have Everlasting Life”

The Brief Description Of God From The Quran:

[002:255] Allah! La Ilaha Illa Huwa (None Has The Right To Be Worshipped But He), The Ever Living, The One Who Sustains And Protects All That Exists. Neither Slumber, Nor Sleep Overtake Him. To Him Belongs Whatever Is In The Heavens And Whatever Is On Earth. Who Is He That Can Intercede With Him Except With His Permission? He Knows What Happens To Them (His Creatures) In This World, And What Will Happen To Them In The Hereafter. And They Will Never Compass Anything Of His Knowledge Except That Which He Wills. His Kursee (Throne) Extends Over The Heavens And The Earth, And He Feels No Fatigue In Guarding And Preserving Them. And He Is The Most High, The Most Great. (This Verse: is called Ayat-ul-Kursee.)

[112:001] Say (O Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him)): “He Is Allah, (The) One.

[112:002] “Allah-Us-Samad (The Self-Sufficient Master, Whom All Creatures Need, He Neither Eats Nor Drinks).

[112:003] “He Begets Not, Nor Was He Begotten;

[112:004] “And There Is None Co-Equal Or Comparable Unto Him.”

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